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Driver's Seat
The curse of a new computer
By BOB DRIVER, columnist
Article published on Tuesday, June 12, 2007 |
Getting a new computer is to risk madness or apoplexy. I bought one last week, and as I write this column I feel as if I’m approaching an insane asylum with a room reserved for me.
My last computer, purchased five years ago, was an HP Presario. I was happy with it, most days. But recently I learned that I needed something called a router. It’s a gadget that would allow a second computer in the next room to use my broadband connection to the Internet.
So I bought a router. I phoned the manufacturer to get instructions on installing it. I ended up talking with a man in Bombay. That’s in India, home to 94 percent of the earth’s computer tech support people. If you can get past these guys’ Urdu-British accents, they usually give you good advice. All went swimmingly with my Bombay dude until he told me to plug a certain wire into the ethernet hole on the rear of my computer. Sadly, I learned that my venerable Presario lacked an ethernet hole.
The Bombay techie said, “Maybe it’s time you bought a new computer. But first, please get off the line and stop wasting my time, and yours.” I’m exaggerating, of course. Urdu techies are always polite.
Next day I bought a new computer. But now the race is on to see if I can learn to use it before I start frothing at the mouth. I feel as if I’ve wandered into a strange land, with all sorts of new terms, customs and regulations.
My old operating system was Windows XP. The new computer uses something called Vista. The old computer had two CD slots; the new one, only a single slot. Will that be enough? I used to be able to shut off my computer completely; with the new one, the best I can do is put it into a sleep mode, so sensitive that if I barely touch my keyboard the whole system springs into action.
I paid a local shop to transfer all my old files into the new computer. But they came through scrambled on the screen. It seems the transfer process does not allow programs – such as Microsoft Word – to come through. Unfortunately, programs are what let you use the computer. I installed my old Word disks in the new computer, but they don’t seem to help. All my e-mail addresses have been wiped out, or so it seems. I can’t even do a word count on this column I’m writing. And so on.
In the old days, computers came with instruction books that got you started. No more. Today everything is online and therefore hard to find. I’d phone the computer manufacturer, but I have learned that most companies do all they can to keep you from reaching them. If you do get through, you’d better have your credit card ready to pay for their advice.
Faced with learning how to use a new computer, what would Jesus do? What would Einstein or Oprah Winfrey do? I know that trial, error, time, patience and seeking further tech support will solve most computer dilemmas. But right now that doesn’t seem to lower my blood pressure. I sit here hating my new computer and all its workings. If I hadn’t spent several hundred bucks on it, I would return it and resume using my old PC.
My advice to anyone thinking of upgrading to a new computer: move slowly. Procrastinate as long as you can.
Please overlook my immature ranting. I will stop now, and begin to study an 820-page instruction book about Windows Vista. I bet I’ll be able to comprehend at least 6 percent of what I read.
Send Bob Driver an e-mail at tralee71@comcast.net.
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Article published on Tuesday, June 12, 2007
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