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Heart Gallery courthouse show ends May 6
By ALEXANDRA CALDWELL
| Article published on Tuesday, April 28, 2009 |
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| Photo by ALEXANDRA CALDWELL |
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| Children’s faces smile from giant photographs in the Heart Gallery at the Clearwater Courthouse. The gallery helps draw attention to the children in Pinellas and Pasco counties who need adoptive families. |
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CLEARWATER – Lauren Rivera scanned the children’s names on the Heart Gallery’s Web site with her friend. All those children needed families. Then Rivera stopped.
“I looked at them and I was like, ‘Oh my god, I know these children,’ ” Rivera said. “And my friend on the phone with me said, ‘Oh my god, I just got chills up and down my arms.’”
Rivera and her husband had taken an adoption orientation the previous year, but the time had not been right to adopt. After seeing those children’s pictures on the online Heart Gallery in 2006, she knew the time was right.
There are 100,000 children living in Florida’s child dependency system, 4,000 children living in foster care in Pinellas and Pasco counties, and 500 children in this community waiting for a family, according to the Heart Gallery’s statistics.
The Progress Energy Heart Gallery of Pinellas and Pasco first began in 2006 and features large, professional portraits of children from the two counties who need adoptive families. The galleries travel throughout the counties to bring awareness about these children and to make a connection with people who may not have even realized they wanted to be adoptive parents.
The main gallery is now located at the County Courthouse, 315 Court St. and is open 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday through Friday. The gallery will be on display through May 6. A mini gallery will be at Calvary Chapel, 8900 U.S. 19 N., Pinellas Park, from May 7 through May 20. A complete list of children’s photos and stories is at www.heartgallerykids.org.
“The actual physical gallery is sort of a catalyst to get people to the Web site,” said Katie Merritt, community relations manager for the gallery. “...The hope is that these these spirited, beautiful portraits, will capture people’s eyes, people’s hearts, and they can grab some more information and that will lead them
to the site where they can dig in.”
The site has the most up-to-date photos and information about the children, including their adoption status. For some of the children, audio recordings of their voices are also available on the site.
“There seems to be nothing more important than to find families for children without families,” Merritt said. “Because if you don’t have that, you don’t have so many other things.”
Rivera, of New Port Richey, discovered the Heart Gallery because her friend was going to adopt and had learned of the then-new gallery and Web site. A few years earlier, Rivera’s biological daughter attended school with the little girl whose face she now saw on the Heart Gallery site. The girls had been 2 years old. Rivera remembered how the little girl and the other kids would greet her for hugs when Rivera came to pick up her own little girl. She remembered her long, curly, black hair and endless energy.
The next year, Rivera taught pre-kindergarten at that same school, but the little girl then attended a different school. One day, she and her older brother showed up at the school with a social worker. The boy was in Rivera’s class.
“They came in and I remember he played under the table,” Rivera said. “He had no front teeth. He barely talked, and when he did, you couldn’t understand anything he said.”
That night, their grandmother picked up the children and Rivera asked what was going on – were they staying in the school? No, she was told. Their parents were on drugs and their lives were a mess, the grandmother told her. Rivera didn’t see the children again until she found their pictures on the Heart Gallery.
Families who want to adopt go through Eckerd Community Alternatives in Pinellas and Pasco counties, which has headquarters in Clearwater. First, potential parents go through an orientation, where they learn more about what it means to be an adoptive parent, said April Putzulu, director of community engagement for Eckerd Community Alternatives. Then people move on to the free, 10-course MAPP classes, which stands for Model Approach to Partnership Parenting. Then a home study is done to determine what type of child would fit best into the family, and after that, the adults are matched with children whose needs match the family’s strengths. At that point, the families get full disclosure about the child – what their special needs are, birth information, any information about the parents and their background, and any other information ECA has about the child. All this is done before the adults ever meet the child.
“It’s a very deliberate process to make sure the child is protected the whole way and that the family has as much information as we have available to us so that we can limit the potential for any kind of risk to the child – emotional risk or otherwise,” Putzulu said.
After children and potential parents are matched, the child is finally brought in and visits with the potential family. If all goes well, the child moves into the home, and if that is successful for at least three months, the adoption may be finalized in family court.
The whole training process to adopt in Pinellas and Pasco counties is free for the families, as is finalizing the adoption, Putzulu said. The state of Florida provides up to $1,000 for attorney fees, and local adoption attorneys work with ECA to keep costs within that amount. Additional financial support is also available for adoptive families, including monthly subsidies until the child turns 18, free medical benefits until they turn 18, and free in-state college tuition, as well as other tax reductions and other things, Putzulu said.
“But of course, the biggest benefit, we feel, is the enrichment that the child will bring to the family,” Putzulu said.
After Rivera talked to her husband about adopting the little boy and girl she saw in the Heart Gallery, she immediately called the gallery to find out how she could move forward in the adoption process. She learned there was a MAPP course that began within the month, and she rushed to get in. She felt she could not wait another six months for the next class. She had to help those kids.
Rivera and her husband were going through the sixth MAPP class when she got bad news. The kids were already matched with someone else.
“I was brokenhearted,” Rivera said. “I cried. It was horrendous. And then I thought, you know, these things fall apart all the time. Maybe it isn’t a good match. But we’re going to keep going. We’re going to complete all 10 classes.”
In class 10, an adoption specialist came in and said she was so happy for Rivera’s family. Rivera was confused. “How come?” she asked. The other match had not worked out. Her family was now matched with those two kids. The Riveras were overjoyed.
In January 2007, the Riveras had their first visitation with the kids, who were living in St. Petersburg.
“We went to Denny’s with a case manager and the little boy cried when we left,” Rivera said. “He wanted to come with us that very day. He was in my husband’s arms, he was all attached and was ready to come home with us that night.”
Slowly, the Riveras introduced their biological daughter, who is five months younger than the other little girl. They were 6 at the time, and the boy was 8. The children moved in with the Riveras in May, which was a month later than scheduled, but the Riveras’ biological daughter needed a little more time to prepare for the transition.
The adoption was finalized on National Adoption Day in 2007. The little girl brought in cupcakes for her class at school for her adoption party. Both children told their classmates their old names. They each had wanted to choose new first names to match their new last name, Rivera said.
At first, life was a little challenging, Rivera said. They had to undo a lot of things – re-learn things like how to shower, how to pick up their toys, not to slam their feet when they climbed stairs. No one had taken time to teach them, Rivera said. Their parents had not been able to parent them.
“You learn a lot about yourself,” Rivera said. “You learn what it takes to be an adoptive parent. The best thing you can be with these kids is be calm and patient. If you have those two skills, you can be a great parent for these kids because they need calm, patience, boundaries. And it’s amazing how what those three things – without therapy, without all that other stuff – how they grow from that point on.”
Rivera saw major improvements about every 90 days, she said. The first 90 days involved calming down and settling into life. In the next 90 days they improved even more, and after the following 90 days, the kids were already done with their therapy, she said. They went a long way just in the first year.
“They’ve come so far,” Rivera said. “My daughter had just finished first grade (when she was adopted) and they were considering holding her back, and now she’s in a charter school and she’s on the honor roll. My little boy, they didn’t think he’d pass the FCAT, and now he did and he’s doing so well.”
At first, bedtime was a challenge because the girls shared a small room, and tantrums were a problem. The family has since moved to a larger house, and the girls are best friends now that they have their own rooms. They miss each other if they are away from each other for too long.
There are still surprises along the way. The family has become so used to each other that they sometimes forget about their differences. Rivera said she forgets that her two children are biracial, and she forgot to prepare the kids for questions before they were sent off to summer camp.
“I took them to summer camp for the first time, and they’d say ‘my sister,’ and one is Caucasian and the other is not, so the kids their age didn’t understand how that is, and I forgot to prepare them for those questions,” Rivera said.
Rivera’s biological daughter ended up telling the kids that her daddy is black, even though he is not, to ward off questions for her sister. Rivera now gives the kids a list of things they can choose to say, even if it is just to answer with “Why do you want to know? Why is it important?” or, “Mommy drank a lot of chocolate milk when she was pregnant.” She tells the kids they don’t owe anyone an explanation.
Another challenge, especially during the first year, was the kids dealing with the fact that they will not see their biological mother for a long time, Rivera said. She was incarcerated, but she and Rivera wrote letters back and forth for a while. Rivera said their biological mom is grateful the kids are with their new family and that they are being well taken care of. Rivera shared snippets of these letters to the children.
“I read bits and pieces of them so they could process their grief,” Rivera said. “I think it was important for them to know that she wanted them with me. She wanted me to take care of them. And I think that was probably the biggest healing point for my daughter. She was daddy’s and mommy’s girl, and for her, knowing that her mom wanted her here with us and was glad we were taking care of them was probably the biggest bit of information she needed to move on and get to acceptance.”
Putzulu said it is normal for any family to face challenges, and these kids have gone through a lot, but the families are carefully matched and can usually get through anything. And the families are provided with good support networks, she said.
“The families that we’re looking for have those kinds of strengths,” Putzulu said. “They’re flexible and resilient and are dedicated and understand that every child is unique and that commitment to that child – that unconditional love is a forever commitment, and we will be there to support them. But these children desperately need families. And as much as they need families, we believe that there are families out there who desperately need our children.”
For more information about the Heart Gallery or adopting, call 456-0637 or visit www.heartgallerykids.org.
Who can adopt?
• Anyone 21 or older, single or married, with or without children
• They must have stable housing and income
• They must complete Florida’s free standardized training, meet background screening requirements and have a completed family home study, including adoptive paperwork and references
Did you know?
• The whole adoption process in Pinellas and Pasco counties is free, from the orientation to parenting classes to adoption legal fees.
• Adoptive families receive monthly subsidies to help the adoptive child until he or she is 18 years old.
• Adoptive children receive free health care until they are 18 years old.
• Adoptive children are eligible for free, in-state college tuition.
• 500,000 children live in foster care around the United States.
• 130,000 children are available for adoption in America today.
• 100,000 children are living in Florida’s child dependency system.
• 800 children “age out” of the state’s dependency system every year without ever finding a permanent family.
• 4,000 children live in foster care in Pinellas and Pasco counties.
• 500 children in our community are waiting for a family.
Learn more
• Call the Heart Gallery of Pinellas and Pasco at 456-0637.
• Visit the Heart Gallery at the Clearwater Courthouse, 315 Court St., 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday through Friday through May 6. A mini gallery will be at Calvary Chapel, 8900 U.S. 19 N., Pinellas Park, from May 7 through May 20.
• See all the kids in the Heart Gallery at www.heartgallerykids.org.
• Call Eckerd Community Alternatives at 866-271-4705 for information about becoming a foster or adoptive parent.
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Article published on Tuesday, April 28, 2009
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