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1. The king of Thailand, age 67, recently declared that his mistress, age 34, would become his official concubine. In the ceremony announcing the promotion, the king’s wife sat quietly next to him.

Talk about transparency and honesty in government — this should take some sort of prize. I wonder: could we establish the post of official concubine here in the USA? I doubt it. The big-time news media would oppose it. After all, what would be sensational in stories about a lady friend officially keeping company with the president? Several of our chiefs of state — from both parties — have dandled dollies on the side. White House paramours are part of U.S. history

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2. “Do NOT flush methamphetamine down your toilet!” That’s the advice given by one Tennessee town whose officials feared that local geese and other fowl might swallow the meth after it entered the town’s wastewater treatment ponds. Meth is one of the most dangerous drugs known. Two or three jolts can make you addicted for life, and/or turn you into a raving maniac. Or, if you’re an alligator, into a meth-gator.

I believe that, nationwide, the official advice is “Don’t toss ANY drugs into your toilet.”

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3. And, if you’re a woman preparing for your wedding, don’t impose bustline restrictions on your bridesmaids. An English woman with a size-6 bosom announced that she would not invite any of her girlfriends with larger bustlines to serve as bridesmaids. She said so on social media, and caught unshirted (or unbosomed) hell from readers who accused her of snobbery.

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4. Gun-slaughter is now a danger throughout our nation. Guns are everywhere. So are persons who are able and determined to use them at any time against any real or imagined enemy. In the face of that, are you confounded (as I am) that each week President Trump and the assorted presidential candidates attend rallies during which they stand in full view before thousands of persons, any of whom might carry a firearm?

“But all those people are screened before they enter, aren’t they?” Let’s hope so. In today’s malignant, tripwire atmosphere, the last thing our nation needs is a repetition of the 1960s when President Kennedy, his brother Robert and civil rights leader Martin Luther King were gunned down. Today our country’s future is primarily in the hands of the Secret Service and the other men and women who guard the president. I fervently hope they continue to succeed.

And what protects you and me from what may await us out there? Very little, I’m afraid. Or so it seems, right now. But that may be changing.

The Second Amendment gives the people “the right to keep and bear arms.” Does “people” mean “anyone and everyone? No matter what is his/her mental condition, criminal record, age or threatening behavior? At all times, anywhere? With any kind of weapon?”

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5. Is there a nation whose leader is more colorful and improbable than our own Donald? If so, it may turn out to be Great Britain and its new prime minister, Boris Johnson. Like Trump, he was born in New York City. His birth name was Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson. His father is part Turkish. Alexander studied at Eton, where he took the first name Boris, headed the debating society, learned how to drink and developed a worshipful obsession with Winston Churchill. He became a journalist, but was once fired for manufacturing quotes. He soon built a reputation for being “loose with the facts.”

For a while he was a popular panelist on a comedy show, “Have I Got News for You.” Next, he was an editor of the conservative Spectator magazine. He was elected to Parliament and then was twice elected mayor of London. He initially favored Britain’s membership in the European Union. But when a referendum was held, Johnson abandoned his stance and became a leader of the Brexit (Let’s quit EU) movement. That’s his position today.

When Theresa May became PM, she unwisely appointed Johnson foreign minister. He bungled the job, notably by opposing his leader (May) on several occasions. He finally resigned, which put him in position to succeed May when she stepped down.

Johnson, 55, is twice divorced, has four children and a current girlfriend, age 31, who moved into the PM’s residence at 10 Downing St. with him.

I may be wrong, but I predict a strong friendship between Donald Trump and Boris Johnson. Both men are wild cards. The adjective “erratic” was invented for them.

Bob Driver’s email address is tralee71@comcast.net.