As you may have seen and heard recently, the world seems on the verge of going to hell, courtesy of COVID-19. I don't agree with that. But rather than bore you with my thoughts, today I'll send out a column of what other, wiser men and women have said about different things.
I won't attribute the following quotes to their original owners. Many of them are already dead and won't mind. Here we go:
"For a woman to get half as much credit as a man, she has to work twice as hard and be twice as smart. Fortunately, that isn't difficult."
"The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him."
"I'm a writer. I write checks. They're not very good."
"Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid."
"If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can surely make something out of you."
"Advice to hopeful unmarried women: Mr. Right is coming. But he's in Uganda and he's walking."
"Football combines the two worst features of American life. It is violence punctuated by committee meetings."
"Don't be so humble. You're not that great."
"If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're going to get selfish, ignorant leaders."
"The lack of money is the root of all evil."
"In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol and it was the worst 20 minutes of my life.”
"One good reason for maintaining only a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who knew the victim."
"Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home."
"Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule — and both commonly succeed, and are right."
"Modern man drives a mortgaged car over a bond-financed highway on credit-card gas."
"My father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic."
"Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics."
"I think everyone should go to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cabdriver. Then they would really be educated."
"Every time I look at you, I get a fierce desire to be lonesome."
"The one good thing about national anthems is that we're already on our feet, and therefore ready to run."
"Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account."
"Power does not corrupt. Fear corrupts ... perhaps from the fear of a loss of power."