Bob Driver Sig (old)

There is so much baloney to wade through in life. As an example, let’s consider one of the most popular sayings ever known. It began years ago. People are still using it and some even believe it. It is a crock.

Here’s how it goes: “Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life.” All sorts of people peddle that old chestnut. It’s supposed to mean: “It is never too late to make a new beginning.”

But what it really does is serve as an excuse: “I can keep failing, postponing and frittering my life away as long as I have tomorrow to comfort myself with.”

The truth is something else. The truth is that today is the ONLY day of our lives. There is no rest of our lives. No one ever achieved anything tomorrow. It doesn’t exist.

A common example: Dieters. Which pretty well takes in 98 percent of us. No matter how Charlie pigs out on a Tuesday or Sunday, he knows he can make himself feel better by saying “Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life.” He then starts to diet all over again, and allows himself to feel noble and repentant.

A second widely accepted epigram is this: “If you aren’t part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.”

This perverted platitude was devised by the 18th Annual Conference for the Dissemination of Intense Worldwide Guilt. Their aim was to spread self-blame throughout the universe, yea, even unto the farthest nebula and black hole.

The conference achieves its power by making us noodle-minded suckers believe that we each have a heaven-sent obligation to stamp out every form of misery, lack, disease or trouble in the world.

We should resist (or at least question) that saying when it is preached to us by someone we have never met or heard about, or who is talking to us from 8,000 miles away, or who is describing troubles that we could not possibly have had any part in creating or perpetuating.

Am I saying we should not support those cases to which we are naturally drawn? Of course not. The valid message is this: our responses should come from our hearts, not from feelings implanted by the guilt merchants. A pox on them, I say. Too often, they are self-seeking, empire-building knaves.

If every person on earth were to spend every waking moment trying to be part of the solution to every problem he could name, earth would still have enough misery and deprivation to supply 40 other planets.

Much of it would come from collisions, traffic jams and other confusions, caused by do-gooders ramming into each other and then cursing their fellow citizens for holding back the dawn.

Now that I have completed this spleen-venting tirade, I can hear some folks saying, “Okay, loud mouth. If you don’t believe in the two statements you’ve been writing about, what are some of the rules or mottoes that you like?”

Good question. Here are some quotes and/or proverbs that I find worth considering. Or funny. Or offbeat.

“Is life worth living? That depends on the liver.” (Unknown)

“It’s better to be a coward for a minute than dead for the rest of your life.” (Irish proverb)

“Don’t be humble. You’re not that great.” (Golda Meir)

“When confronted by two evils, a man will always choose the prettier.” (Unknown)

“Condoms aren’t completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus.” (Bob Rubin)

“Ninety percent of the politicians give the other 10 percent a bad name.” (Henry Kissinger)

“A perfectly acceptable substitute for talent is persistence. (Steve Martin)

“If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. (Aristotle Onassis)

Bob Driver’s email address is tralee71@comcast.net.